The following letter is from a groom whose wedding I had the honor to photograph. After reading this letter, I am glad they didn’t run away to get married. Word to the wise gentlemen: It is truly a day to remember, a day that begins the glorious journey you will spend with your wife. Celebrate it! Let the world know your love for her. I wanted to post every word of the letter, because it truly tells the love that he has for his wife, and I felt it should be known. Attention all of you grooms out there! Brides forward this letter to your groom, it will make him cry.
When I asked her to marry me, that was not how I envisioned my Saturdays. I planned to veg out and watch sports or play a round of golf after a long week at work. But I ended up following (really, just driving) my now wife around all over creation. I tried to tell her that I didn’t care what color the napkins were and I didn’t care which flowers she used. I only cared a little about the food but really, I cared about what booze we’ll be having and if I had to wear a uncomfortable tux for hours and hours.
It’s not that I wasn’t excited about the wedding…I just wasn’t excited about the planning process. My bride dove head first into it — with magazines piled high, piles of crap (it was crap to me) from the crafts she’s been doing sitting around the house, and a million (I’m not exaggerating) phone calls to her mom. I told everyone then and I’ll tell everyone now, I am so grateful that my wife planned and implemented around 90 weddings before she got to ours. I don’t even want to imagine what it’s like for the guys out there with girls who have never planned a wedding before. I shudder at the thought…
My wife wasn’t a crazy bridezilla (well, except for that one time…) and I definitely wasn’t a groomzilla (what the heck is a groomzilla anyway?). I let her make the decisions, though she did ask my opinion frequently (and I had no opinion on what appetizers should be served…except for the buffalo chicken dip!). She spent weekend after weekend and night after night working on stuff for our wedding (I doubt she would call it “stuff” but that’s what it was to me) and I got assigned to a few tasks along the way. I did attend the tasting with her (and got my buffalo chicken dip) and I helped with a few other decisions — songs the DJ would play, what I would wear (no tux for me!), etc. I also got an opinion on the photographer. I had known Eric for a few years and my wife even longer (my wife worked with Eric at several weddings) and each time I saw Eric, he asked me when I was “ever going to marry that girl” (thanks for that, Eric!). There was no doubt in my mind that we had to have Eric — we both felt comfortable with him and had seen his great work firsthand, when he took some family photos for us (plus all the weddings he and my wife worked on together). I felt good in selecting Eric and I’m glad I helped in that decision.
I asked her several times throughout the engagement if she was sure she didn’t want to just run away…especially after something crazy would happen or some type of family drama would hit the fan. She kept saying no and that it would all be worth it. She asked me time after time “Don’t you want to celebrate this special day with all of our family and friends?” She even made me call my guy friends who are married and had weddings to get their thoughts. They all said the same thing — “Have a wedding, man. I had so much fun at mine. I’d do it again!”
The week before the wedding, my wife couldn’t sleep. She was literally on the phone with her mom for hours (HOURS!), discussing every little detail. I zoned out and watched baseball. My sweet wife was a little nervous the week before but barely showed it. She was a little stressed on the Friday before our wedding while starting to set up the reception area but for the most part, she was surprisingly calm. She did have one minor “bridezilla” moment, where I think her head blew off but somehow got back on her shoulders, but other than that, she was cool, calm and collected. I have to admit, I was worried that being the control freak (I mean that in the nicest way!) that she is, I was worried she couldn’t let go of the control and enjoy our wedding. But to my amazement, she completely let go and was incredibly relaxed at the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner, as well as the wedding.
I have never seen a more beautiful wedding in my life. I am a little bias, obviously. The setting was great, with the lake in the background, and we were surrounded by our family and best friends — exactly what we wanted. When I saw my beautiful bride walk down the aisle with a huge grin on her face, I knew in that moment, we had made the right decision to have a wedding with our family and friends. The ceremony flew by and reception even faster. We had the best reception (in which we ran through sprinklers…bride included!) and so many memories. We celebrated the most important day of our life with our family and friends and I married my best friend, what more could I ask for?
On our way to catch our flight for our honeymoon, I let my wife in on a little secret. I told her I had the best time at our wedding and told her I was so glad we didn’t run away to get married. I thanked her for all of her hard work and for putting up with me (and my “let’s run away!” comments) the whole time. My wife worked so hard on our wedding for us and I am forever grateful. All the little details (she even thought to give me a groom’s survival kit for the wedding day — though I didn’t even think to get her a card…whoops! Word to the wise — Grooms, at least get her a card!!!) told our family and friends exactly who we were — from the programs that were fans to the music that played to the candy buffet, the whole day was “us”. I’m so glad she was so insistent upon having a wedding and that she didn’t listen to me (not a surprise!). I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Congratulations Steve and Jaime!